I am realizing I have resistance around self love and acceptance. On some level, I feel that my “inner critic” or my “ego” has served me in certain areas of my life. It has motivated me to achieve and to be externally successful in areas like school and work.
Lately in my sobriety I find myself coming back to 3 main beliefs:
I understand these beliefs have caused me suffering, but I can’t shake the feeling that in some ways they have served me. Why else would I keep coming back to them? In her book Radical Acceptance Tara Brach describes what I am feeling as the “The Trance of Unworthiness.” She talks about how western culture breeds the assumption that I must prove to myself and others that I am worthy (work, school, relationships). She discusses how Buddhism challenges the western assumption that we must prove our worth. Instead Buddha reflects on how life is a gift because we have the opportunity to realize our true nature. According to Tara, “We free ourselves from the trance by learning to recognize what is true in the present moment and by embracing whatever we see with an open heart.” So how do we do this without falling into complacency? How do we accept ourself AND take actions to improve our lives? Tara says that acceptance isn’t equivalent to throwing in the towel or giving up, rather it is the first step towards “wise action.” By cultivating genuine wakefulness and kindness we are then able to take effective action.
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About MeAs I embark on this sober journey I wanted a place where I could share my reflections, insights, and questions about sobriety. And I hope that through creating this blog I can begin to find strength and courage in the absence of booze. Archives
July 2020
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