Sometimes the things we love most are the the very things we must learn to live without. Like an old lover, booze isn't something I feel completely ready to move on from. I still have the good memories, the times where booze felt like a necessary companion in my life. I can't forget the evenings spent laughing with friends, glasses in hand, feeling as though there is no place else I would rather be. I can't forget the giddy feeling I'd get as the first sip of red wine touched my lips, or the way my stresses and problems seemed to immediately start fading away. No, instead I have to accept the fact that inspite of all the good times I have had during my 10 year love affair with booze, it's time to walk away (for good).
Today is day 2 of my sober journey and my heart is still feeling wobbly with the desire to return to my old lover. It wants to forget the pain and the insidious shame this substance has injected into my life, and return to the euphoria-filled moments. But today I am gonna be the best friend that tells myself, "You cannot - under any circumstance go back to that asshole. You are a strong, beautiful, and intelligent women and you deserve a love that will build you up, NOT break you down." So today I am going to give my better half the benefit of the doubt and trust that she knows better than my wobbly and lovesick heart. I will forge forward into this uncomfortable territory with the knowing that sometimes things have to bruise a little before they can heal.
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About MeAs I embark on this sober journey I wanted a place where I could share my reflections, insights, and questions about sobriety. And I hope that through creating this blog I can begin to find strength and courage in the absence of booze. Archives
July 2020
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